I just turned 22 years old and it has me reflecting a lot on my life so far. I feel truly blessed to have gone to and seen so many beautiful places, to have met such amazing people and to just be alive and healthy.
I will be honest I have definitely not achieved as much as I hoped I would by now. I feel like for the last 3 years I have been floundering career wise – not really sure what I am doing or where I am going – just moving around and jumping from one thing to the next never feeling fully satisfied with the result. I used to feel so sure of who I wanted to become and what I wanted to do with my life and now starting 2021 I don’t feel so sure anymore.
I am the best at overthinking things – constantly over analyzing situations and trying to control the outcomes of things that are not in my control at all. I put a lot of pressure on myself and I feel like that’s where I have lost my way. The past year has made everything feel uncertain – as I am sure so many other people have felt – things I had planned have been delayed, goals I wanted to achieve have been set back and in this waiting period I have forgotten who I want to be and what I want to do. But although the past year has had its challenges I have been greatly blessed in other ways and I try my hardest to focus on those sweet blessings that make everyday beautiful – my family, my boyfriend, my home and the good health of myself and those I care most about in this world.
So now that I have reflected and can see that I am a bit lost I want to do something about it. I want to find my way again and embark on a new and fresh journey of self discovery. I am a different person than who I was 3 years ago and so I have new dreams and new goals and I need to embrace that instead of trying to hold on to that person. Change can be hard but it can also be so rewarding and although my life isn't exactly how I thought it would be right now, maybe just maybe it will be even greater than I ever expected.
I want to live a more authentic and simply life. I want to be completely present and not be so consumed by past mistakes and worry about what the future holds. I want to fall completely in love with myself again and share that love with all the special people in my life.
I am not entirely sure how I plan to rediscover who I am and what I want but I think that’s the point. I think I have to release the need to have a big plan to follow and instead just go with the flow and see where I end up. I hope that by sharing my journey it will help inspire others on their own journeys to just keep going, keep believing and just trust that everything will turn out exactly as it should.
So here I go. May my 22nd year of life be one full of good health, happiness, growth and lots of love.
Let the journey of getting to know myself again begin!
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